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Freud: Seven signs you’re having a bad life

“Suffering comes from three quarters: from our own body, which is destined to decay and dissolution, and cannot even dispense with anxiety and pain as danger-signals; from the outer world, which can rage against us with the most powerful and pitiless forces of destruction; and finally from our relations with other men.”

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, sometimes a cigar is an imaginary cock or jaw cancer. Either way you’re going to lead a bad life according to Freud. After Freud spent a while living on mother earth, day by day he started realizing the various signs that lead to a bad life. The seven signs popped up in his head one night after he came back home from his clinic shocked to see that he was out of cocaine. And thus Freud wrote, the seven signs you’re having a bad life:

1- You’re out of cocaine.

2- You’re a Jew.
Apparently no one likes Jews.

3- Your subconscious and unconscious are both full of shit.
Good luck figuring yourself out in therapy. You’re full of shit.

4- You live under these three conditions:
You have a body, you have an outer world, and you have relations with other men. Suffering comes from three quarters: from our own body, which is destined to decay and dissolution, and cannot even dispense with anxiety and pain as danger-signals; from the outer world, which can rage against us with the most powerful and pitiless forces of destruction; and finally from our relations with other men.

5- You’re a woman.
You’ll never have a penis. Every time you have sex, you will see the object you desire to have. You crave the power of swinging a penis around mid-air like a helicopter, and you know that you can never achieve that. Unless you put a strap on, but that’s just lame and you’re starting to realize that.

6- You married a woman.
Your wife nags you about smoking too much, sniffing too much, and writing too much. She also doesn’t like you, nor your friends. She envies you for having a penis, so she castrated you because she figured ‘If I can’t enjoy having one, why should he?’. Now you are her equal. You’re castrated. What worth is your life: nada.

7- You live in a civilization.
To put it simply: the liberty of the individual is no gift of civilization.

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Philosophers lives matter. For existential purposes and failure in getting rich, I am overclocking my liver to refurbish Filosophy. A page for all and none.

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